Reality

I believe jacquesm and other successful men felt they could help a MTF trans youth because people would likely assume they weren't sleeping with her and I was not similarly helped because people would have assumed it was an affair or plans to eventually get with me.

Jacquesm was shacked up with a woman around eleven years younger than him who bore him two children out of wedlock. I saw comments on Hacker News that made it clear to me most people thought he was married and Genevieve also twice referred to his live in girlfriend as his wife.

I believe he described her as his girlfriend to me because he wanted me to know he was available. It took me a long time to realize most people believed he was married and most likely he was stressed out about letting me stay on Hacker News because my intimate knowledge of him would have made it look like an affair or at least made it clear to people he was making plans to try to get with me.

The reality is none of any of this was necessary. Men routinely have affairs they hide and later admit when they feel okay admitting it for some reason. Elon Musk recently broke up with a woman he initially claimed was merely a friend and colleague while fathering children on both her and another woman around the same time and claiming he only donated sperm as a friend and wasn't romantically involved.

Genevieve being substantially younger than jacquesm didn't mean he couldn't sleep with her. Men the world over routinely have relationships to substantially younger women.

Genevieve being a MTF trans individual -- or claiming to be -- also wasn't a bar to a sexual relationship. People get involved with trans individuals or whatever.

If jacquesm imagined that was an easy cover story to sell, that's in his mind and not necessarily TRUE. I don't actually know what other people assumed about the relationship and whatever it was, it probably varies from one person to another.

While getting divorced and being chatted up by men under circumstances where I believed there was zero hope of this panning out, I just began asking men point blank what they found attractive about ME. To my surprise, I rarely heard the same answer twice.

Contrary to what I had thought or heard or whatever, men are individuals with individual preferences and if something about me worked for them, it was particular to what turns their head. I learned I had no "value position" where X thing about me was The Reason men were attracted.

I don't know why jacquesm did what he did. I did what I did of trying to assure a wealthy, influential man in my online social circle I was no threat to him because I had goals of my own.

Those goals were about 99 percent about resolving my health issues and figuring out other stuff of interest to me about interacting with the public and doing things on the Internet. If my audience and he imagined it was 99 percent about hoping to marry him, well, you haven't really been listening I guess.

This site is called Feminine Character Works. The Intro says:

It's a space for a former homemaker to try to talk about her thoughts related to trying to establish a career...

I initially positioned myself on Hacker News as a big fat nobody because I have firsthand experience with being one of the smart kids in school and everyone expecting me to be right all the time and I was too sick to try to cope with THAT.

I set goals like making the leaderboard in part because it was entertaining.

If I had been male, it should have done more for me in terms of establishing a career and earned income.

I wasn't there to pick up men. Men and fantasies of TRUE LOVE and blah blah blah were pleasant distraction from being in constant agony and suicidal and in a HOPELESS situation.

In astrological terms, I have Venus in Cancer. Like a female crab, I need to be gotten out of my armor to get intimate with me and that's not easy to do.

There's a long history of people imagining me making small talk is deep and meaningful important bonding. I don't know how to make people stop imagining that.

I've made countless attempts over the years to say on various blogs "You reading my writing on the Internet doesn't make us good friends or something. It doesn't mean I'm your one true love. Etc. If you imagine that, please get therapy. That's delusional."

Jacquesm chose to not speak to me. He chose to not meet me. Etc.

If he continued to fantasize he would get with me while cutting me out of his life, I have no idea why he chose to do that.

I chose to try to handle it diplomatically and try to tell him that ship has sailed POLITELY because I hoped being the only woman to make the leaderboard would be an accomplishment that stood on its own and which would help me get traction for my online activities and lead to MONEY for ME.

Everyone there KNEW that was my real GOAL. I said it a LOT while they pissed all over me and gaslit me and claimed it's not possible to make money online.

I'm done hoping my relationship to Hacker News can be salvaged. If you are a woman, it's probably a waste of your time as well.

Though perhaps less of a waste of time than OPENLY misandrist, women only forums that actively encourage you to publicly tell the world what you REALLY think of your male colleagues while you imagine those men and others at work probably won't read it and certainly won't know it's you if they do.

Which goes well beyond waste of time and deep into ACTIVELY cutting your own throat and then acting BAFFLED when your career goes nowhere fast.