It's a club, girl. Why you arrive naked?

I am not currently active on any social media platform. I occupy myself by watching YouTube videos, playing games, trying to clean up typos on my sites and add archives. 

I get a zillion notifications from apps that desperately want my money and the notification bubble attached to my YouTube account currently says 527. So YouTube is pushing stuff to me for reasons I cannot fathom based on algorithms I don't understand. 

Once in a while, I watch one of them. 

I've watched at least two short clips about Keanu Reeves, starring Keanu Reeves with some exciting, urgent, newsworthy descriptor like "developing story!" I've gotten notifications for more than two that I didn't watch.

This stuff is such garbage. They tell the tale of what an amazingly nice guy he is with deep respect for poor people and contempt for wealthy buttheads he works with or knows socially. 

I have absolutely no idea what he imagines he is accomplishing but it looks like he's in the dog house and trying to claim he's a good guy and whomever he has friction with who is in a position of power is a butthead and Keanu is all kinds of virtuous.

I don't know how to successfully navigate PR but I don't think this is it.

My dad had a joint savings account with his sister and she "dipped into it for emergencies" like he had told her she could. At some point, he learned a year of his salary was gone.

He quietly closed the account and never discussed it with her.

I never told that story publicly while he lived. Stories like that get told after someone dies so random buttheads don't decide they can take advantage of someone without consequence. 

I don't know how you prove you are ethical enough to do business with without marking yourself as a chump to be taken advantage of. Stories told on Hacker News or by rock stars suggest successful business people find that the minute they have money and publicity, countless people come out the woodwork and want to put the bite on them because "I'm your aunt's cousin's half sister you've never met and not actually a blood relative, BUT..." or "I used to sit three rows behind you on the school bus in middle school."

I saw some episode of something, probably Sixty Minutes, and some undercover cop or maybe reporter said he went out to dinner with a couple of mafia guys who were polite and respectful to him and called him "sir" or whatever and no one said one word about who he was or what he had accomplished. After that, he said he was a "made man." He was in. All the mafia accepted him.

I'm never getting out of social cyberia because public reputation is based on two things:

1. Actions speak louder than words.

2. What OTHER people say about you.

The people who wronged me aren't going to admit it. The people who tried to do right by me and couldn't figure out how to because there's no protocol for admitting a woman to the old boys club have the same problem they always had.

Saying nice things about me probably implies "I'd hit that." not "I'd trust her with my life or even money."

I have no idea what is going on with Keanu Reeves but his little video clips look to me like "I'm up shit creek without a paddle AND have no goddamned sense. I've been making movies so long, I think people buy that and can't tell my acting on film from reality. Look how many people think The Matrix is real!"

I'm not that deluded. 

What I have is the rare luxury of being free to speak my mind as I see fit. Mostly because no one is listening. 

It's unlikely to ever pay my bills, though it's maybe free therapy while I try to figure out how to stop this bad habit of writing which doesn't pay and figure out how to get a real job.

Though the last time I tried that, it was a train wreck that I still can't get out from under.