There is a piece I wrote a few months back titled Telling Men No. Someone I know read it a while back and discussed it with me and I've been meaning to write a follow-up piece based on that conversation for some time.
The person suggested to me that it's important for me -- a woman -- to try to say such things somewhere because if you prove to a powerful man you aren't trustworthy and he decides he's not going to do business with you because of it, he most likely will also not tell you that.
He will just not do business with you, not recommend your work to his friends and associates and probably will just not speak of you at all. Powerful people are very influential and mentioning your name at all can put it in front of a lot of people and talking trash about someone can make them look bad.
So they probably won't speak ill of you. They probably just will not speak of you at all and you will likely be mystified as to why no one seems to mention you, no one seems to hear of you, etc.
For various reasons, I think it is unlikely men will talk about this.
Of course, I can't prove it. But I think it's the way to bet in a climate where certainty cannot be attained.
The person suggested to me that it's important for me -- a woman -- to try to say such things somewhere because if you prove to a powerful man you aren't trustworthy and he decides he's not going to do business with you because of it, he most likely will also not tell you that.
He will just not do business with you, not recommend your work to his friends and associates and probably will just not speak of you at all. Powerful people are very influential and mentioning your name at all can put it in front of a lot of people and talking trash about someone can make them look bad.
So they probably won't speak ill of you. They probably just will not speak of you at all and you will likely be mystified as to why no one seems to mention you, no one seems to hear of you, etc.
For various reasons, I think it is unlikely men will talk about this.
Of course, I can't prove it. But I think it's the way to bet in a climate where certainty cannot be attained.