Having just joked on Twitter about how I don't actually attend parties, I am wondering: What is the definition of "a party"? I don't actually know.
I guess THIS is my idea of a party and so I've never been to one:
If I were "normal" -- by which I guess I mean if I had the life I imagined was my due, likely rooted in my mother's ideas of "normal" as someone whose own mother came from a low-level noble family that had sold the title and who bitterly complained "I used to have a maid. Now I am the maid." for years after manufacturing a completely unnecessary financial crisis so she could go to work over my father's objections --- I like to imagine I would attend such parties.
Alas, I never got the life I imagined was my due. I never got to have the two-career couple lifestyle to which I felt entitled, the social life to which I felt entitled, etc.
I was a girl gamer, so in my teens I somewhat often was out until the wee hours with a group of friends, but we were extreme nerds and didn't drink or do drugs. Is that a party? I don't know. I always imagine parties involving sex and drugs or some such.
I married one of my gamer friends. He was painfully introverted and marrying me, Ms. Social Butterfly wiring who never got the social life I felt I should have, he got more of a social life due to being with me.
Those were also boring, non-party affairs that did not involve drugs or alcohol. They didn't even involve smoking.
Looking back on it, I married one of the few men on the planet I could have possibly married. I like calm, cool, collected men. Such men tend to skew towards being prone to depression rather than having anger management issues. As such, they also are somewhat prone to being smokers, which is a known means to manage depression.
This is a problem because I have serious respiratory issues. Once a smoker, pretty much always a smoker, and don't let their latest temporary break fool you. (Yes, I have been burned by such "promises.")
It was a lovely blue art deco style piece that I would pull out and give to people who had come over to game when they expressed the desire to smoke. They were handed the ashtray and instructed they were allowed to smoke outside on the patio or balcony or what have you, depending on where we lived at the time.
When my ex said something like "No smoking" he meant it. He was in the military and my son once saw him yank a cigarette out of someone's hand who was trying to light up and grind it under his boot on the kitchen floor while very quietly reminding him of the "no smoking" rule in the house.
So I never had to be the asshole about such things. He was going to do that himself and I could play the role of polite hostess smoothing things over and giving people an ashtray and sending them outside because I'm the NICE ONE, damn it.
I've been to military balls. Those were work functions in support of my husband's career, not fun. Is that a party? I don't really think so, though one perk of being a military wife is having an excuse to buy a ball gown once in a while.
In recent years, I've been dirt poor and had no social life cuz REASONS. So however you define a party I definitely haven't been to one in YEARS -- even if you use some looser definition than Joe Walsh's song line, which sounds extremely upper class and out of reach of most people.
One of my favorite movie scenes -- that I can never find a clip of on YouTube -- is some scene where Keanu Reeves is taking someone to a friend's house at some ungodly hour because they are on the run and she's like "Will she be up at this hour?" and he assures her she will be, implying she is some wild child party girl.
She's an astronomer. So, yes, she is routinely up all night, looking through a telescope.
My heart goes all pitter patter. Thank you, Mr. Reeves, for making girls like me sound cool and fun.
I guess THIS is my idea of a party and so I've never been to one:
I go to parties sometimes until four.
It's hard to leave when you can't find the door.
If I were "normal" -- by which I guess I mean if I had the life I imagined was my due, likely rooted in my mother's ideas of "normal" as someone whose own mother came from a low-level noble family that had sold the title and who bitterly complained "I used to have a maid. Now I am the maid." for years after manufacturing a completely unnecessary financial crisis so she could go to work over my father's objections --- I like to imagine I would attend such parties.
Alas, I never got the life I imagined was my due. I never got to have the two-career couple lifestyle to which I felt entitled, the social life to which I felt entitled, etc.
I was a girl gamer, so in my teens I somewhat often was out until the wee hours with a group of friends, but we were extreme nerds and didn't drink or do drugs. Is that a party? I don't know. I always imagine parties involving sex and drugs or some such.
I married one of my gamer friends. He was painfully introverted and marrying me, Ms. Social Butterfly wiring who never got the social life I felt I should have, he got more of a social life due to being with me.
Those were also boring, non-party affairs that did not involve drugs or alcohol. They didn't even involve smoking.
Looking back on it, I married one of the few men on the planet I could have possibly married. I like calm, cool, collected men. Such men tend to skew towards being prone to depression rather than having anger management issues. As such, they also are somewhat prone to being smokers, which is a known means to manage depression.
This is a problem because I have serious respiratory issues. Once a smoker, pretty much always a smoker, and don't let their latest temporary break fool you. (Yes, I have been burned by such "promises.")
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.Anyway, my ex was allergic to cigarette smoke, so HE had a firm "no smoking in my house" rule. We had one ashtray, stored in a kitchen cabinet.
-- Mark Twain
It was a lovely blue art deco style piece that I would pull out and give to people who had come over to game when they expressed the desire to smoke. They were handed the ashtray and instructed they were allowed to smoke outside on the patio or balcony or what have you, depending on where we lived at the time.
When my ex said something like "No smoking" he meant it. He was in the military and my son once saw him yank a cigarette out of someone's hand who was trying to light up and grind it under his boot on the kitchen floor while very quietly reminding him of the "no smoking" rule in the house.
So I never had to be the asshole about such things. He was going to do that himself and I could play the role of polite hostess smoothing things over and giving people an ashtray and sending them outside because I'm the NICE ONE, damn it.
I've been to military balls. Those were work functions in support of my husband's career, not fun. Is that a party? I don't really think so, though one perk of being a military wife is having an excuse to buy a ball gown once in a while.
In recent years, I've been dirt poor and had no social life cuz REASONS. So however you define a party I definitely haven't been to one in YEARS -- even if you use some looser definition than Joe Walsh's song line, which sounds extremely upper class and out of reach of most people.
One of my favorite movie scenes -- that I can never find a clip of on YouTube -- is some scene where Keanu Reeves is taking someone to a friend's house at some ungodly hour because they are on the run and she's like "Will she be up at this hour?" and he assures her she will be, implying she is some wild child party girl.
She's an astronomer. So, yes, she is routinely up all night, looking through a telescope.
My heart goes all pitter patter. Thank you, Mr. Reeves, for making girls like me sound cool and fun.