I spent a lot of time in therapy and kept a dream journal for years, both as part of therapy and after therapy was over. So men in dreams are often a symbol of "male" things for a woman, such as career aspirations.
I once heard Arnold say something like he never met a woman who found his muscles a turn-off. Well, he's never met me obviously, so there's that.
I'm not into body builders.
When my ex gained five pounds in muscle while I was away for a month and he was hitting the gym regularly to occupy himself, hugging him meant having my breasts pinched by his upper arm muscles. This did not endear me to his larger muscles, which he soon lost when life went back to normal because I was home, so his build also went back to normal.
Don't get me wrong, he had a great body and was plenty fit. He was career military and an avid cyclist and took martial arts. Oh and had a letterman jacket from playing football in middle school before I met him.
That list -- career military, avid cyclist, martial artist and football player -- probably pretty much covers it for me. Toss in male gymnast for good measure and you have an idea of the build that turns my head if you want to be shallow and assume that build is the only reason to sleep with someone, which it isn't.
I love Arnold's movies, of course. What's not to love?
But he's more like an animus figure in my mind rather than a sex object. In other words, he's a symbol of what I would be if I were a man.
My mother is German and I'm tall for a woman and took gymnastics in my youth and yadda. For a disabled old lady, I'm fairly tall and athletic, so Arnold works as that kind of figure in my mind: He's a symbol of "me" in some sense.
The title is about the second half of this piece which is only loosely related.
What women find attractive in a man is often not very easily seen even if you have pictures of every man to whom they've been romantically attached. It's socially unacceptable for women to treat men as sex objects or to have physical preferences of the sort men routinely admit to and there is a whole subtle culture surrounding denying that women have such at all.
I once wrote a piece that mentioned that "I expect men to dress for work, undress for me" and someone said to me "you are basically a guy."
It's occurred to me that gay men who like big hairy guys have a special term for that. They call them bears.
Women who prefer big hairy guys may not even be explicitly aware that it's their preference, much less willing and able to state that to other people.
They may not be very clear on that in their own minds because for most women, most men will be both bigger than them and hairier than them on average. Unless you are unusually big and hairy for a woman, you can think of yourself as just liking "men" when the truth is you actually like big, hairy men and would never think to call that preference bears.
Bears are not my thing. Body builders are not my thing.
This random post brought to you by insomnia.
I once heard Arnold say something like he never met a woman who found his muscles a turn-off. Well, he's never met me obviously, so there's that.
I'm not into body builders.
When my ex gained five pounds in muscle while I was away for a month and he was hitting the gym regularly to occupy himself, hugging him meant having my breasts pinched by his upper arm muscles. This did not endear me to his larger muscles, which he soon lost when life went back to normal because I was home, so his build also went back to normal.
Don't get me wrong, he had a great body and was plenty fit. He was career military and an avid cyclist and took martial arts. Oh and had a letterman jacket from playing football in middle school before I met him.
That list -- career military, avid cyclist, martial artist and football player -- probably pretty much covers it for me. Toss in male gymnast for good measure and you have an idea of the build that turns my head if you want to be shallow and assume that build is the only reason to sleep with someone, which it isn't.
I love Arnold's movies, of course. What's not to love?
But he's more like an animus figure in my mind rather than a sex object. In other words, he's a symbol of what I would be if I were a man.
My mother is German and I'm tall for a woman and took gymnastics in my youth and yadda. For a disabled old lady, I'm fairly tall and athletic, so Arnold works as that kind of figure in my mind: He's a symbol of "me" in some sense.
It's definitely you.
The title is about the second half of this piece which is only loosely related.
What women find attractive in a man is often not very easily seen even if you have pictures of every man to whom they've been romantically attached. It's socially unacceptable for women to treat men as sex objects or to have physical preferences of the sort men routinely admit to and there is a whole subtle culture surrounding denying that women have such at all.
I once wrote a piece that mentioned that "I expect men to dress for work, undress for me" and someone said to me "you are basically a guy."
It's occurred to me that gay men who like big hairy guys have a special term for that. They call them bears.
Women who prefer big hairy guys may not even be explicitly aware that it's their preference, much less willing and able to state that to other people.
They may not be very clear on that in their own minds because for most women, most men will be both bigger than them and hairier than them on average. Unless you are unusually big and hairy for a woman, you can think of yourself as just liking "men" when the truth is you actually like big, hairy men and would never think to call that preference bears.
Bears are not my thing. Body builders are not my thing.
This random post brought to you by insomnia.