I don't imagine anyone but me would see us as at all similar

For whatever fucking reason, Twitter tossed me an article today about Kim Kardashian and I ended up quoting it in a tweet and yadda. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about her these days but that has her on my mind today.

About a year ago, no doubt on a day when I felt more like shit than usual, I said something negative about the Kardashians and it's kind of nagged at me since. That's a violation of a personal policy.

It's hard to walk it back because I meant it. But it was said somewhat flippantly and probably doesn't effectively convey what I really think because my mind works differently from that of other people.

I've spent too much time in therapy and yadda. People are a product of their environment and Kim Kardashian is just doing what the world expects women like her to do, essentially.

She's doing what I would have done had I had the opportunity. I would love to be rich and beautiful and dress well and attend the kind of social stuff she seems to attend and all that.

It's sort of the perfect life for a woman, everything a woman should aspire to and I pretty much did at one time.

But, among other things, my genetic disorder denied me such opportunities. So I walked a different path not because I'm too morally superior or something but simply because that way was shut to me.

And that fact pushed me elsewhere and that elsewhere has made me very painfully aware that women are damned if we do and damned if we don't. We need to play to the crowd and make it on sex appeal to have much hope of making it at all and then that fact gets us treated like we aren't to be taken seriously.

I'm mad about that.

I'm mad at the shit hand life dealt me such that no matter what I do, I can't make my life work. And I'm mad that a brilliant, hard-working woman with more opportunity than me is shuttled into clothes and beauty and more or less denied doing more serious things.

Kim Kardashian has got to be one of the most socially savvy people on the entire planet and -- as best I can tell -- she's using it to live the high life and sell conventional beauty to other women in a way that helps keep us all stuck. And that sticks in my craw.

Which isn't really about judging her per se. It's to say this world is SUCH SHIT and there seems to be no fixing it.

I was denied conventional success and conventional beauty by happenstance and she has capitalized upon conventional beauty to gain conventional success. I think we have some similar strengths and it just makes me feel like there is no place for a woman to stand and there is no lever long enough for a woman to move the world.

I'm increasingly in spitting nails territory and THIS is not helping my mood in that regard.