At some point, I read one or two books by Frans de Waal, a primatologist.
De Waal said that the alpha male protects the group from external threats. The alpha male is like a general leading the battle in times of war.
In contrast, the alpha female protects the group from internal threats. She is a keeper of the peace within the group.
In one group of bonobos at a zoo where he once worked, the alpha female died. For some months, he could not tell who took over the role after she died.
Then one day, there was an altercation so ugly he was sure there would be blood. During a break in the drama, the quietest female of the group began slowly walking towards the two big males in question. Behind her trailed a following of other group members, like a queenly procession.
She sat down and began to groom one of the males and with that, the drama was over. It was as if the queen had spoken and no one dared defy her.
From that, de Waal knew who the new alpha female was. She was.
Once, they had a deaf female who kept accidentally killing her babies. So when she had another, they took the baby away and gave it to a different female to care for.
The baby and the adoptive mom were temporarily taken away from the group and I think she was taught to bottlefeed the baby and helped to bond with it. They were hoping to convince the group the baby died and this other mother had a new baby.
The big challenge was introducing the two back to the group successfully.
They brought her and the baby back and one by one let the others out of their individual enclosures and gave each of them time to meet and greet and bond with the returning mom and baby. The male they were most concerned might kill the baby was brought in last after all others had already accepted the baby.
He came out of his enclosure on a tear only to be met by two other big males who absolutely HATED each other standing there with their arms around each other's shoulders "grinning" at him.
To be clear, bonobos don't smile. That's a threat posture. It's baring their teeth.
Their body language more or less screamed "If you hurt the baby, we will kill you."
His demeanor changed dramatically. He gingerly went up to the baby, sort of did a "coochie coochie coo" tickling it on the chin, then left post haste. He never bothered the baby.
In contrast, bonobo females were not willing to set aside past differences. They would pretend to "forgive" someone only to bite the crap out of them if that individual made the mistake of trusting them.
In human society, adults treat boy babies and girl babies differently from birth. So I don't think it's reasonable to believe we are capable of distinguishing innate wiring from trained behavior.
One of my takeaways from the work of de Waal is that women have to learn how, when and why to effectively set aside differences with specific individuals for political reasons. How we get there, I don't know.
But I like to imagine such ideas have been helpful to me in navigating certain things in life. Of course, that's just my opinion man and I have no means to test that hypothesis much less prove that I am correct.
De Waal said that the alpha male protects the group from external threats. The alpha male is like a general leading the battle in times of war.
In contrast, the alpha female protects the group from internal threats. She is a keeper of the peace within the group.
In one group of bonobos at a zoo where he once worked, the alpha female died. For some months, he could not tell who took over the role after she died.
Then one day, there was an altercation so ugly he was sure there would be blood. During a break in the drama, the quietest female of the group began slowly walking towards the two big males in question. Behind her trailed a following of other group members, like a queenly procession.
She sat down and began to groom one of the males and with that, the drama was over. It was as if the queen had spoken and no one dared defy her.
From that, de Waal knew who the new alpha female was. She was.
Once, they had a deaf female who kept accidentally killing her babies. So when she had another, they took the baby away and gave it to a different female to care for.
The baby and the adoptive mom were temporarily taken away from the group and I think she was taught to bottlefeed the baby and helped to bond with it. They were hoping to convince the group the baby died and this other mother had a new baby.
The big challenge was introducing the two back to the group successfully.
They brought her and the baby back and one by one let the others out of their individual enclosures and gave each of them time to meet and greet and bond with the returning mom and baby. The male they were most concerned might kill the baby was brought in last after all others had already accepted the baby.
He came out of his enclosure on a tear only to be met by two other big males who absolutely HATED each other standing there with their arms around each other's shoulders "grinning" at him.
To be clear, bonobos don't smile. That's a threat posture. It's baring their teeth.
Their body language more or less screamed "If you hurt the baby, we will kill you."
His demeanor changed dramatically. He gingerly went up to the baby, sort of did a "coochie coochie coo" tickling it on the chin, then left post haste. He never bothered the baby.
In contrast, bonobo females were not willing to set aside past differences. They would pretend to "forgive" someone only to bite the crap out of them if that individual made the mistake of trusting them.
In human society, adults treat boy babies and girl babies differently from birth. So I don't think it's reasonable to believe we are capable of distinguishing innate wiring from trained behavior.
One of my takeaways from the work of de Waal is that women have to learn how, when and why to effectively set aside differences with specific individuals for political reasons. How we get there, I don't know.
But I like to imagine such ideas have been helpful to me in navigating certain things in life. Of course, that's just my opinion man and I have no means to test that hypothesis much less prove that I am correct.