I'm a former homemaker. Why do I seem to know how to handle some things better than most women?
Luck, basically.
In addition to having great parents, the remarkable experience that someone who hurt me genuinely made amends, and having real rights as a military wife, my sons and ex husband are part Norwegian -- henceforth known as Viking.
I tripped across a Twitter thread once talking about how Viking men would go to other countries and women would throw themselves at them because they actually bathed and stuff. They were more civilized than some of the countries they were raiding.
They would get back home with their booty, sometimes including women they had brought back as captives to marry and even women who were taken by force apparently tended to stay voluntarily in part because Viking women had more rights than average for the era, so being a Viking wife was a good deal compared to what they knew they faced back home as a woman.
Viking men were lord and master of the public sphere but women ruled the household. My marriage was kind of like that. It took me a long time to figure it out but I could do things like rearrange the furniture while he slept and he said not one word about it.
He only complained if I wanted his help to move it. But if I moved it myself, I could basically do what I wanted, when I wanted and he said not one word. I would have had a cow if he had done something like that.
So as a homemaker, I had a domain over which I ruled. I ran the household and raised the kids and was given some degree of autonomy in how I handled that, which seems to not be the norm in many households.
I've had different experiences than average for an American woman and that means I know what it looks and feels like to be treated like an actual human being even while financially dependent on a man and raising kids and all that.
Hopefully, I can help cast some light on the topic so others can figure out how to do this dance better.
Luck, basically.
In addition to having great parents, the remarkable experience that someone who hurt me genuinely made amends, and having real rights as a military wife, my sons and ex husband are part Norwegian -- henceforth known as Viking.
I tripped across a Twitter thread once talking about how Viking men would go to other countries and women would throw themselves at them because they actually bathed and stuff. They were more civilized than some of the countries they were raiding.
They would get back home with their booty, sometimes including women they had brought back as captives to marry and even women who were taken by force apparently tended to stay voluntarily in part because Viking women had more rights than average for the era, so being a Viking wife was a good deal compared to what they knew they faced back home as a woman.
Viking men were lord and master of the public sphere but women ruled the household. My marriage was kind of like that. It took me a long time to figure it out but I could do things like rearrange the furniture while he slept and he said not one word about it.
He only complained if I wanted his help to move it. But if I moved it myself, I could basically do what I wanted, when I wanted and he said not one word. I would have had a cow if he had done something like that.
So as a homemaker, I had a domain over which I ruled. I ran the household and raised the kids and was given some degree of autonomy in how I handled that, which seems to not be the norm in many households.
I've had different experiences than average for an American woman and that means I know what it looks and feels like to be treated like an actual human being even while financially dependent on a man and raising kids and all that.
Hopefully, I can help cast some light on the topic so others can figure out how to do this dance better.